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5 Tips for Dealing with Rude Gifts at the Holidays


Welcome to the holidays, y’all, where rude gifts are an annual tradition. So Miss Lora, the Trailer Trash Miz Manners and author of the comedy advice book, “Y’all Are Rude!: Clean Up Your Act With Miss Lora & Baking Soda” has 5 tips on getting and giving presents and what best to do with them – other than tossing them in the garbage. Really.

  1. Change your Attitude about rude gifts – Yeah, I know, you just got another crappy wool scarf when you live in Florida or a cheap box of chocolates when everyone knows you’re on a diet. It’s the holidays, hon, where rude gifts happen every year. Now you may think that they just need better taste, bless their hearts. But the likelihood of that is pretty muchInstead, Miss Lora says you need to change your attitude. Times are tough and everybody is just doing the best they can with what they’ve got. So when you get a present from someone, just be grateful you got anything at all! Really. On top of that, everyone is busy, busy, busy these days with too much information in their heads and too much to do. The fact that someone thought of you at all is a miracle! Trust me. So your job is just to say “Thank you” or “Thank you so much” and then it’s time to decide what to do with the hot mess. 
  2. Be in Gratitude about any gifts – Life is perception, hon. Think of it this way: it isn’t another stupid gift, it’s money in your pocket! Really. If you do the time honored tradition of wrapping it back up and re-gifting it, that’s not rude - it’s money you don’t spend on someone else. And just because their present seems like garbage to you doesn’t mean someone else won’t pay big bucks for it on the garage sales of the web: Craigslist and Ebay!
  3. Know what the word Gift means – I can’t tell you how many people write me to say how shocked and offended they are when they give a present to a loved one and it disappears forever into the dark hole of wherever. Just cause you think that a 5 speed foot massager is perfect for your friend or relative doesn’t mean that they don’t think it’s a rude gift they want to toss in the trash the minute you’re out the door. If you never see it on or around them, let it go. It’s rude to mention it and honestly, you can just assume they re-gifted or put it on Craiglist just like you did. Really.
  4. Your Got a Gift but didn’t Give One Solution – This is where re-gifting comes in real handy, hon. It’s always good to think ahead and have a little stash of presents already wrapped and ready to give to someone who thought of you and you have no idea why. You can just say, “Oh, I left yours in the car. Let me run out and get it” and you’re set. But you need one important tip to make this work: tape a note on the gift saying what it is and who gave it to you and when. That way you don’t end up giving your friend or her sister the same present she gave to you. Really. But if you have to, you better have a good story ready. Miss Lora doesn’t recommend lying but something along the lines of “Your present was so great I went out and bought another to give to someone else and it turned out to be you!” might work once. Maybe.
  5. Gift cards and cash are not rude – We’re all strapped for cash these days. Contrary to popular opinion, Miss Lora thinks gift cards are great to give especially when they’re for things we’ll use like coffee or groceries or home improvement stuff. I know the experts say we lose them all the time and don’t use them and they go to waste. This is not that complicated, folks. Just put it in your wallet as soon as you get it! That way, you’ll be constantly reminded you have it and you’ll use it. As for cash, it’s still kinda tacky to give it outright to anyone except your very immediate family – oh, and students. They’re always so broke and pathetic there’s no sense beating around the bush – just give ‘em the Benjamins and don’t expect a thank you. Just be content knowing that you’re keeping them in school so they can get a job and eventually contribute to your Social Security.  Another important tip: the one thing you absolutely don’t want to do when it comes to gifts is mention the word Heifer around Miss Lora. You know what I’m talking about. Those cards that say I gave so much money in your name for somebody’s farm animals in who knows where. You don’t want to go there. Trust me. Because we can pick our own charities, thank you very much. And it’s just plain rude to mention the word cow around a lady, especially at the holidays. Really.

c) Miss Lora. Available for Interviews! Miss Lora, “The Trailer Trash Miss Manners”, has over 1,000,000+ hits on her web series’ “Y’all Are Rude!” and “The Southern Guide to Internet Dating” at www.MissLora.com. She is a Southern Communication Expert, Dating and Life Coach, stand up comedian and air personality who’s been on national TV and radio and is the co author of “Power Lines: What to Say in Problem Situations” (Harper Collins).     Read More

5 Tips for Dealing with Rude Relatives at the Holidays


Welcome to the holidays, y’all, where rude relatives at the dinner table can’t be avoided. So Miss Lora, the Trailer Trash Miz Manners and author of the comedy advice book, “Y’all Are Rude!: Clean Up Your Act With Miss Lora & Baking Soda” has 5 tips on dealing with rude relatives either at their house or at yours – other than tossing them out on their ears. Really.

  1. Hide the liquor – Hon, holiday meals can be volatile and locking the liquor cabinet is one guaranteed way to avoid those fist fights at the table that invariably end up on top of the turkey. At least, that’s what I finally figured out after some disastrous dinners at my house. TrustNow you may feel like you’re rude if you don’t offer scotch on the rocks or rum in the eggnog. But it’s perfectly polite to just have a bottle or two of a light wine where everyone gets a few sips for a lovely toast and then moves on to chowing down on your wonderful meal. Besides, once the whole stressful holiday experience is over and they’ve finally left, you’re going to need every drop for yourself to recover. Really.
  2. Don’t bring up controversial personal topics at the table - At one dinner, Miss Lora realized that quite a few of the people at her table had just come out of rehab, rehab, jail and prison. She did not ask them how their time was. You don’t want to go there either. Trust me. Because ain’t nothin’ good can come of that and of course, it’s rude. Actually, there are a number of topics you should avoid like: “When are you having kids?” “When are you getting married?” and the ever popular “So you haven’t lost that weight yet, huh?” Definitely steer away from asking or letting anyone talk about their latest seeping health condition and be careful about discussions of favorite sports teams. Instead, Miss Lora recommends you stick to safer topics, ones like politics or religion. Really.
  3. Don’t take anyone’s dish (including your own) personally – So you’ve just spent the last 48 hours sweating over a hot stove and oven for this year’s holiday dinner. Now one of your relatives wants to put her nasty dish of jello with fruit cocktail or worse, carrot shreds, right next to your fabulous candied yams with multicolored mini marshmallows. No one’s blaming you for wanting to toss it back at her head. But you can’t, because that would be rude.  Instead, realize that everyone thinks their dish is special and they can’t help that they have no taste or clearly, taste buds. Just thank them for their contribution to the table and when no one eats it, you can just give it back to them with their leftovers. Really. Now if you’re the one who brought your favorite dish to someone else’s holiday dinner and they just left it in the kitchen, don’t take it personally. They clearly don’t know what they’re missing out on and you’ll have a perfect excuse to take it back home and have it all to yourself. Yummy.
  4. You don’t owe anybody an explanation about anything - Now if you’re the one who’s being grilled on incredibly personal and invasive areas of your life right in the middle of your mashed potatoes and gravy, you just need to remember one thing. You don’t need to answer anybody’s questions, even your Momma’s, bless her heart. Your best policy is to smile pretty and then keep on eating. In case you really need to change the subject, keep some safer topics up your sleeve like Jesus or the President. That’ll distract them from your pathetic love life. Really. But if all else fails and you can’t take it anymore, Miss Lora recommends you excuse yourself and go sit at the kiddies table. Even if the rug rats bite, they still may be safer than some of your relatives. Trust me.
  5. When it comes to somebody else’s liquor, behave yourself! – Holiday dinners with the relatives are supposed to be about love and joy and celebration but don’t confuse it with a party. Just because they have an open bar doesn’t mean you should indulge. These are folks who can push your buttons like no one else can so it’s best to treat the whole situation like a ticking time bomb – with a fight just waiting to happen. You know I’m right! So Miss Lora’s rule of thumb for liquor at the holiday meals is – more than one and you’re no fun! Trust me. Just keep it together until it’s over and then you can head home and have as much as you want to erase the stain. The truth is that holiday dinners are a lot like the labor in birthing a baby. You’ll always remember the pain and yet somehow still, a year later, eventually want to do it all over again. Really.

c) Miss Lora - available for interviews! Miss Lora, “The Trailer Trash Miss Manners”, has over 1,000,000+ hits on her Youtube web series’ “Y’all Are Rude!” and “The Southern Guide to Internet Dating” at www.MissLora.com. She is a Southern Communication Expert, Dating and Life Coach, stand up comedian and air personality who’s been on national TV and radio and is the co author of “Power Lines: What to Say in Problem Situations” (Harper Collins). Read More

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